Ah, The Way We Were...

The tradition we have got to get back to...

The delightful end of *their* 100th anniversary - 

when the Bruins closed the century of CHanadiens!
DIE, CH, DIE: 1909-2009

And ultimately... the Stanley Cup! 

Simulated Dreams

The EA Sports simulation prophecy!, 

It is a simulation using the made-in-Vancouver "NHL 14" game

released across North America by EA Sports, 

that saw the Boston Bruins winning the Stanley Cup 

in six games against none other than  the San Jose Sharks. 

( No rematch with the Hawks - boo hoo.)

THE CANADIAN PRESS/ho-EA

An EA Sports simulation is better than no form of favorable omen at all, some could say; now to translate virtual into reality once again...  Visibly emulating very real components from fact-sheets from both regular season statistics and past playoffs campaigns, this simulation gave the Boston Bruins the ultimate goal in hockey after ousting four familiar foes (Detroit, which was a known opponent when the simulation was done, Montreal, the New York Rangers and, in the end, San Jose, whose year finally would come to reach the big dance, or so it would seem at simulation time.) Detroit has fulfilled its part and played its role very well: after stealing game one, they dropped four in a row to an inspired Bruins club (prompting some fans to say ''first it was wings as starters: next, it's frog legs!''  Main course could be fishy - or ducky? Stay tuned!)  In order to achieve all that, one would figure that the reliable cogs would deliver: the goalie gets the Conn Smythe Trophy again (Tuukka Rask's projected goals-against average is an infinitesimal 1.56; he's having four shutouts throughout the playoffs -already had one against Detroit as a matter of fact- and his save percentage is a truly excellent .948 - Go, Rask, Go!)  David Krejci would quietly lead all scorers once more with 21 points over the duration, as he's done in 2011 for example; Go, Krejci, Go!  No mention of Jarome Iginla's involvement and production in the short summary that we saw, but it can be presumed that the fact that this is his golden chance to finally hoist the ultimate trophy weighed in the way this simulation went! Go, Iggy, Go!  The EA version of Zdeno Chara can only be even more intimidating than the real-life one too: Go, Chara, Go!  Likewise for Milan Lucic and his fists: Go, Lucic, Go! But it would go to Patrice Bergeron, Bergy himself, the honor of bringing the Bruins back to the Finals - as he scores the series-clinching goal against NY five minutes into overtime in game 7 of the Eastern Finals! (Is EA a big fan of that wild comeback against the Leafs last year or what, you think? Well, so am I...! Go, Bergy, Go!)

On the other end of this spectrum, surprise after surprise - for, to see Boston go all the way is not surprising at all, but to see a scenario unfold that has three former champions of recent years fall before both an upstart team reborn of its ashes since their new coach came into town (said coach was still playing for them last time they contended for anything at all!) and the perennial underachieving club reaching the end - it is a daring bet, to say the least! Colorado and San Jose would be responsible for the eliminations of three top contenders: the Avs were projected to be able to dispose of Chicago in the second round, while San Jose would take care of Los Angeles in the very first round, then Anaheim in the second and finally Colorado in the Western Finals - in six games. We'll get back to this in a second...!

The simulation was spot on in several cases though, one has to admit: Tampa Bay, Philadelphia, Columbus and Dallas had no chance to survive the first round - and in reality, none of them did. EA Sports and the NHL 14 game were daring enough to project a sweeping elimination for the team managed by Steve Yzerman: and that is exactly what happened to poor Tampa, unbelievably enough, against the execrably lucky Canadiens. The Philadelphia Flyers were to be swept too; however, in real life, they proved tougher than that against the Rangers, forcing a decisive game 7.  Columbus did fall to the Pittsburgh Penguins; and the Dallas Stars, despite reuniting components from the 2011 Boston Bruins magical team of destiny (Tim Thomas and Tyler Seguin, basically - with some inspiration from Rich Peverley, perhaps) failed to conjure up anything starry at all against the formerly-mighty Ducks of Anaheim. Also of note, despite their great 2013-2014 season, the St.Louis Blues did fall indeed before the reigning champions Blackhawks - it was close, as was the Columbus-Pitt series (surprisingly, but not-so much) and Dallas-Anaheim series (quite surprisingly; but one can dismiss it easily as the usual Tim Thomas effect: he's that good, in his unorthodox way!) but everything there went according to logic, really.  Especially in the case of the poor Blues: acquiring a perennial loser from Buffalo, at the trade deadline, to be your top goalie throughout the crucial part of the year could only lead to major disappointment - and it sure did just that!  Going up against the playoff-savvy team that is the Hawks in the very first round didn't help, granted; it all spelled out ''early exit/ignominious end to a great season'' for a franchise that will probably never find a way to hoist the Stanley Cup.

Now for what did not go ''according to plan'' - a simulated plan, yeah.  Los Angeles is, like Chicago and Boston, a team that knows what life in the playoffs is like. They never quit, and they sure didn't when facing elimination against the Sharks. The simulation had San Jose ousting L.A. in six games; they could have done in 4 straight!  But, instead, L.A. became the latest team to accomplish the stunning feat of rallying from an 0-3 series deficit all the way to take it in the decisive game 7...  Wow. EA Sports didn't count on that one, at all.  Their other major horse, Colorado, petered out, too, early: the Avs, with coach Patrick Roy, were to go almost as far as the Sharks this surprising year: they were to outlast the Minnesota Wild in a hard-fought seven-game series in their first-round match-up.  However, it was Minnesota that took that, coming back four times to tie the final game before winning in overtime!  Roy and EA, both, never imagined that either!  

So, instead of San Jose and Colorado, the western side of things has L.A. and Anaheim still in the mix, and squaring off in round two. The other series has Chicago and the astonishingly resilient Minnesota crew. Who should be the projected Stanley Cup finalist now?  I hope it's the Wild!!!  A battle of the bears for the grail: that way, Boston could look to sweep while they secure Iggy's spot in history, at long last...

In the east, upsets could happen too, though: as projected, the Pitt is pitted against NY in the second round - what if Sid The Kid, somehow, leads the Pens past the Rangers there? What happens to that thrilling seventh-game overtime victory for Boston in the Eastern Finals then? Because the Bruins do have Lundquist's number now...  First, however, they must regain Price's number, the guy who, somehow, did deliver on that laughable (at first it was, anyway) prediction of a first-round sweep...  Tampa didn't play up to par and losing their top goalie Ben Bishop just at the onset of the playoffs was the major factor there!  At blogging time, alas, we know what has transpired: Price was spared five goals (count them, five goals!!!) by the posts and the hated Habs were able to steal game one of the semi-finals, in double overtime, when the Boston Bruins were penalized at the wrongest of times and were killing a penalty, therefore, when deathly tired already...  It was a game the Bruins were totally, utterly dominating otherwise; the projection of a second-round Bruins triumph in five games still stands (however, I was saying it would be Bruins in 4...! Just like on the 100th anniversary of the Canadiens; remember? Ahh - fond memories!)

No matter how it happens, it has to happen: the 2014 champion must be Boston! 

Isn't a sign from fate, too, that it is software made in Vancouver that was used to predict this championship in the first place, hmm? Vancouver - where the Bruins won their previous Cup in 2011, against all odds projected at that time? Vancouver - birth place of Cam Neely and Milan Lucic!  Vancouver - also the birthplace of the most famous Boston Bruins fan of all: Michael J. Fox!  But we're digressing now...

It won't be against Sharks, as fantasized up there: but, be it Kings, Ducks, Hawks again or Wild bears, the Bruins can prevail in six games indeed!  First off, they can make EA proud by ousting both Montreal and New York just as ''prophetised'' (though seven games shouldn't be required for the latter; much less for the former opponent!)

Go, Bruins, Go! 

Burly Ironing...?

Warning:

This just exposes the dirty bruins
- SportsVids33

Yep, a comedian from comedy central who obviously knows as much about hockey as he thinks he knows about government (hint; not much). I am sure the Bruins organization has never been dealt such a blow by such a credible source before! I hope the organization and their fans learn a lesson from all this, or they may never be taken seriously by the comedic community ever again!
- Bruinology in reply to SportsVids33

What is THAT all about?
Just a little video found on YouTube - again.
The battle rages on, especially as the playoffs approach once again, and the rather dim chances of a rematch between Boston and Vancouver are there - no matter how unlikely it can be, in truth.
(I mean, Vancouver has so many opponents that can oust them before they make it anywhere close to a Final again: St-Louis, Nashville, Los Angeles, San Jose, Detroit and Chicago to name but those likelier to make the playoffs, at blogging time. Boston has a tough challenger in the NY Rangers - but they are not afraid of them nor of Pittsburgh. New Jersey, Washington, Buffalo and likely first-round opponent Ottawa shouldn't be that difficult for Boston to take apart in five or six games. The Bruins' true toughest opponents in the playoffs last year (Tampa Bay and Montreal) are not even going to make it to the playoffs, this year! (That'll teach them to try soooooo hard to stand in the way of the Champions!) And as for Philadelphia - their Flyers were defeated by Boston last year and the Bruins can do it again, if ever they meet the representatives from the so-called city of brotherly love on their path once more. Vancouver, defeating Chicago once again? Not a chance. But enough about all that...!)

This video that we were talking about - it's here (well, for now it is, at any rate!) and it is but an uncategorizable tasteless bit of vitriol against the Boston Bruins organization - as if this team, the championship team in defence of its title right now, was guilty of all the sins of the league...! Jon Stewart leads the charge here with a barrage of charges made with so-called ''evidence'' - all taken out of context. Great job, Jon!

The video was titled ''The Ironing Is Delicious'' to make use of the form of humor called malapropism which is nothing more, nothing less than the artform of misusing similar sounding words or outright replacing the proper word with a homophone, usually with hilarious results indeed. An example given by the guy who did this was attributed to the one and only (but no Bruin) Yogi Berra and his infamous statement about Texas: "Texas has a lot of electrical votes," he reputedly said, rather than saying "electoral votes". "The Ironing Is Delicious" is actually ripped off from The Simpsons though (how dishearteningly disappointing to see our opponents stoop so low) and therefore cannot be given much praise whatsoever. The video's uploader, the machiavelian MAKAVELI719696, really should have gone for something more original, with a double does of malapropism then, if he likes it so much...? Something like what I just did here, perhaps...? I've got a better one: how about ''The Ironing Is Delirious'' eh? That would have been GRAND. Too bad, MAKAVELI719696 - too bad that you're not me. But you're a Jon Stewart fan - quite obviously.

Let's have a look at this video, then - and we'll come right back after that, with Jon and friends...



So, Jon, you found contentment with taking things from left and right, plastering them all together into a nice montage that supposedly ''proves'' the Bruins' double-face policy (and that is simply not true: for, coach Julien said certain things and they were true when he said them. It was only afterwards that his players, fueled by a sense of retribution and justice, started those ''bite my finger'' shenanigans in the Stanley Cup Finals. As for GM Chiarelli's statement that ''our players are generally clean'' - that is true. The two incidents displayed after that are absolutely not evidence of the contrary: as Chara's much-maligned hit on Pacioretty was a routine play gone wrong due to the presence of a certain stanchion. The hit on Miller by Lucic came afterwards - much later on, in fact - and a goalie who knows not his place shouldn't complain after being touched. Do you even know of these aspects of the story, Jon? Perhaps your team does not research as thoroughly whenever the topic is not as much ''hard news'' material as political or economical stories, because you usually are as factual as CNN and Fox News, right, Jon? Just not on sports. But let's get back to that montage right now...
For then there is this ''un-self-awareness'' thing that you talk about, Jon, in an effort to be volubile - takes one to know one, Jon? Fact is, Brad Marchand plays smart, that is all there is to that - and, yes, it is smart to hurt instead of being hurt. Don't play innocent because any other field is as ruthless and cut-throat as hockey can be, and you know it, Jon! Coach Julien's comment was neither ''stupid'' as the sore loser Vigneault so distastefully labeled it, nor was it, again, untrue at all. Coach Julien was talking about hits in general, not so specifically the Salo hit or attempt to mash Marchand up against the boards that went horribly wrong for himself. And about Dan Carcillo being bitten - if he was, he, unlike Patrice Bergeron, totally deserves it! I don't expect you to know these details, Jon - nobody really does, because you're just a whimsical guy, not to be taken seriously.)

The most infuriating moment though is when you edit out Shawn Thornton's retort and replace it with an expletive delivered by Mike Tyson himself. For your information, Thornton is ten times more articulate than Tyson - and he could match wits with you, Jon, despite all the blows to the head that he has taken over the years. (By the way... When's the last time that you were boinked on the head, Jon? Back in kindergarten? Or just last week, when she found you watching porn? No need to answer that - ever.)

Shawn Thornton just took a split second to clear his throat and make sure that he really was on the air (don't Comedy Central give you any heads up on it, too, Jon? You are simply far more used to it than Shawn - but you would be just like a deer caught up in the headlights on the ice, if was open season on your skinny frame: you would never see that coming, would you, Jon? No - you wouldn't. Not even if you had one, two or ten full seconds to react! But that is purely theoretical now...)

Well, anyways, here is what Shawn Thornton really sounds like when he actually starts talking after that nano-second of a pause, Jon:



Like, you never had to collect your thoughts before speaking, Jon? It never happened to you? Maybe that would explain the crazy things uttered over the years, both by you and Colbert there, but that is another story, really - so let's not get into that foolishness here and now!

If anybody is to blast Thornton, it should be me - me or Don Cherry! Leave it to the experts and to each their field of expertise, okay? And to illustrate this so well, here is a video of one of the true hockey experts blasting Thornton, at first, as he analyses the proceedings as the Boston Bruins are about to even the series at three games apiece:



Don ''Grapes'' Cherry gave you a lesson of fairplay there, Jon! One you would do well to take into much consideration now... For, when you are part of mainstream media (even if it be cable clods land) you always have to give equal chances to both sides of the story - capisce, Jon? Cherry did just that - so much so that this video was posted by a Vancouver fan, actually! And labeled as something lambasting ''Thornton's douchery'' - not that Cherry calls it that, but he does address something Shawn Thornton did during the warm-up skate before the game. It was something many have done before though, over the decades, which is somewhat criticized by Cherry as something not to do. Later on, he condemns a dirty hit from behind by a Vancouver player on an icing call. No bias.

Got that lesson, Jon?

To finish in style, though, let's go back to the question of expertise for a second: for I wonder what is, exactly, your expertise, Jon? Is it politics? Not quite. Is it comedy? Well, just because you host something on Comedy Central since whenever it was, does not truly make a comedian out of you, by any definition of the word found in either Old English or current American slang. You would be a sports expert, Jon? You? Not possible.

Oh, and about the distasteful comments and classless statements - maybe that is your field of expertise indeed then? It certainly is your forté, apparently for you said it so yourself and I quote:
''I said it before and I'll say it again - go f*** yourselves''
Really, Jon? A TV host should say such things? I say no - a TV host shouldn't say such things, ever. Nor should he show montages that purposefully edit out the counterpoints in order to make fools out of people that you simply do not like.
What happened, Jon? Sports is not worth the same fair play treatment politics get or your TV pundit buddies get, even when it's obnoxious loudmouths such as Bill O'Reilly (he's no Terry) or Rush Limbaugh?

You can go f*** yourself, Jon!
(And, no, I am not contradicting myself here - acting all righteous and then stooping down to their level? No. This is totally within what I have defined to be normal behaviour for a luminous pundit blogger such as moi! Dishing out what they have had coming their way for a long, long time - in some cases.
Well... Case closed.)

Defending A Dream

After the Dreaming and the Accomplishment of the Dream - there is the Defence of the Dream!

And during said defence, one will have to face off with all the same opponents we defeated the first time around in order to capture the title: let's see now, first there was "that Original Six team in Canada" as Kevin Dupont would say... Then there was the brotherly lovers from Pennsylvania... Next it was the lightning rods from Florida... And, last but not least, there was the Cannots. Er, Canucks.



Just to put things in further and proper perspective, though, let us go back and watch (again) the intro for the seventh and decisive game of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals:



In this video, we see why the Bruins were going to win the Cup: the determination of guys like Marchand and Kelly, the inspiration that Horton became, the legacy of Orr and Bucyk (not to mention Neely, the Man, the man who should have won it at least twice himself) - and then there is Recchi, the man who had won it twice and won it for a third time, giving him a chance to retire as a champion.

The Bruins are much more than a simple team either: they act like a family.

In the above video we also see all the reasons why the Canucks were to be denied and are doomed to lose: Luongo's sad demeanor, their dismal coaching staff led by Frenchie Alain V, and a line-up that is closer to a rag-tag collection of spare parts rather than one cohesive whole...

And then there is their late defenseman, Luc Bourdon, who died so young and prematurely, a life of expectations, aspirations and raw potential that were never to be fulfilled - just as the Vancouver Canucks' dreams and delusions of grandeur.

Some deluded fans north of the border are indeed delusional enough to believe that the Canucks are going to win it all the next time around; that they learned from their trial and complete decimation at the hands of the Boston Bruins in June 2011 and will now proceed to "right this great wrong" this coming spring of 2012. The truth is that this Vancouver franchise didn't learn a thing from their loss to the NY Rangers back in 1994 - why would they learn from 2011? There are many other opponents to get through before they can possibly reach the Finals again - whereas the Bruins only have the Rangers as true competition in their conference, the Canucks have Detroit, San Jose, Chicago, up-and-coming Minnesota and Anaheim to contend with...

First and foremost, though, the Canucks have destiny firmly not on their side - their coach, the Sedins, the legacy left by the likes of their Russian Rocket, Trevor and Markus... And, yes, Luc Bourdon... They can be good, very good at times - but they cannot win.

And besides - Vigneault, Lapierre, Burrows, Bieksa and the rest of them do not deserve to win. They know not how to grind it out, how to earn it - and, quite frankly, their tactics are less than honorable as is their level of courage is, too.

They cannot even dream of making it back to the Final Dance.

While Bostonians certainly can dream of it - again.

Realizing A Dream

From the 2-0 deficit against the hated Montreal rivals
To the sweetest revenge of a sweep versus the Philadelphia nemesis
On to a clash with a new adversary in Tampa Bay
And finally to a showdown with the alleged best team today, in Vancouver

The Boston Bruins triumphed truly against all odds
- with a battle-weary team that comprised it all already -
even before the little tweaks that brought in Chris Kelly,
Rich Peverley and Tyler Seguin - and sealed the deal, basically!

Unfortunate for those Bruins warriors who came so close before
and were traded away just before the fulfilment of this tremendous team's potential:

The Blake Wheelers, Matt Hunwicks, Mark Stuarts, Dennis Widemans,
just like Boston Bruins of yesteryear such as Randy Burridge, Brian Curran, Steve Kasper, Peter Douris, Glen Murray, Steve Leach, Dave Reid, Keith Crowder, Terry O'Reilly, Dave Poulin, Moe Lemay, Rick Middleton, Glen Wesley, Greg Hawgood, Gord Kluzak, Geoff Courtnall, Ken Hodge Jr, Barry Pederson, Michael Thelven and so many others...

All the teams led by Ray Bourque
And goalies such as Matt Delguidice, Blaine Lacher and my favorite: Doug Keans.

All of them, and many more who have worn the uniform before them even, were so deserving of winning the Cup themselves.

Alas, for the majority of them, something was always missing - or going awry, at some point, in the course of the 16-team tournament each and every spring. Bad luck was oftentimes the sole reason of defeat. All of these Bruins of the past could have and should have been Stanley Cup champions too.

But the team of 2010-2011 had it all, or all that was required in order to go all the way and "get over the hump" as Mike Milbury would say. This team truly had all the tools it needed as of May 2011 - and they went all the way indeed.

Team owners Jeremy M. Jacobs and Charlie Jacobs, long criticized for not being able to or not being willing to provide the necessary commitment to build a champion, finally answered all the demands and criticisms by simply giving the green light to their general manager to go ahead and make ALL the changes that were deemed to be necessary...

And so a tremendous team started to take shape, as early as 2006, I would say...

Years of adjustments that saw the comings and goings of the likes of Petteri Nokelainen, Glen Metropolit, Peter Ferraro, Randy Robitaille, Brad Boyes and... Joe Thornton - finally led to the dream team of this spring of 2011.

Brad Marchand proved to be the better Brad.
Nathan Horton - a sturdier version of Peter Ferraro.
Shawn Thornton - a bulkier, brainier, all-around better Thornton, better suited for the task at hand...

This tremendous team of 2010-2011 accomplished it all
even when deprived of not merely one but two of their best offensive weapons in Marc Savard and Nathan Horton - both victims of vicious and highly reprehensible and arguably premeditated acts of violence meant to take them both out of the game.

Just as, many years earlier, a similar and definitely premeditated act had taken out of action the greatest Bruin of all, arguably - Cam Neely.

Neely was deprived of a well-deserved Stanley Cup championship of his own, as a player, whether in the years 1988 and 1990 or the years 1991, 1992 and 1993 - for, in those years, the Bruins were top contenders, arguably peaking in 1993, when they were the best team in the Eastern Conference at season's end... That team, built around Neely, would come so close but would be denied the ultimate prize hockey can offer and, in effect, be denied the fulfillment of its true destiny.

But no one could deny Cam Neely the right to hoist that trophy, one day - and he did just that, finally, as the team president of all things, in the year of Our Lord 2011.

No one could deny this well-deserved crowning of a champion - no one!

Not the execrable ghosts of the Montreal Forum - he'd dealt with them in 1988 and all throughout his remarkable -if short- career.

Not the hated Montreal Canadiens of the day.

Not the putrid Pennsylvania hockey teams, be them from Philadelphia or Pittsburgh.

Not the rivals of old, envious as ever: Buffalo Sabres, Carolina Hurricanes, Hartford Whalers (RIP).

Not any supposed western Canada powerhouse, be it hailing from Vancouver or Edmonton!

Not any supposed "pure winners" and up-and-coming forces to-be-reckoned with from down south...

Not any Badgers, Bobs, Ulfs or Samuelssons, alive or dead and buried!


NONE of these adversaries could prevent
the crowning of a
TRUE CHAMPION!

The Boston Bruins:

Cam Neely
Peter Chiarelli, Jim Benning
Scott Fitzgerald, Scott Bradley, Harry Sinden
Don Sweeney, Wayne Smith, John Weisbrod
Andy Brickley, Mike Chiarelli, Adam Creighton
Jack Higgins, Jukka Holtari, Denis Leblanc
Dean Malkoc, Mike McGraw, Tom McVie
Ryan Nadeau, Jeremy Rogalski, Svenake Svensson

Claude Julien
Doug Houda, Geoff Ward, Doug Jarvis
Bob Essensa
John Whitesides, Don Delnegro, Scott Waugh
Derek Repucci, Keith Robinson, Matt Falconer
Jim "Beets" Johnson

Amy Latimer, Jen Compton
Jim Bednarek, Chris Johnson

Tim Thomas

Zdeno Chara, Johnny Boychuk, Dennis Seidenberg,

Andrew Ference, Adam McQuaid, Shane Hnidy

Tuukka Rask

Tyler Seguin, Brad Marchand, Patrice Bergeron

Mark Recchi, David Krejci, Milan Lucic

Daniel Paille, Gregory Campbell, Michael Ryder

Steven Kampfer, Shawn Thornton, Matt Bartkowski

Normand Léveillé

and more
- so many, many more*


(* = all of the fans
helped win this one -
ALL OF THEM!
Because they
BELIEVED.)


This entire organization, all the individuals that comprise it, past and present, and all of the team's fanbase - they can all seek solace now for, in the future, whatever rough times may come off the hockey rink ice or on, they can forevermore fondly remember that they saw here - one of their dreams come true.


How many can say so much, really?