Burly Ironing...?

Warning:

This just exposes the dirty bruins
- SportsVids33

Yep, a comedian from comedy central who obviously knows as much about hockey as he thinks he knows about government (hint; not much). I am sure the Bruins organization has never been dealt such a blow by such a credible source before! I hope the organization and their fans learn a lesson from all this, or they may never be taken seriously by the comedic community ever again!
- Bruinology in reply to SportsVids33

What is THAT all about?
Just a little video found on YouTube - again.
The battle rages on, especially as the playoffs approach once again, and the rather dim chances of a rematch between Boston and Vancouver are there - no matter how unlikely it can be, in truth.
(I mean, Vancouver has so many opponents that can oust them before they make it anywhere close to a Final again: St-Louis, Nashville, Los Angeles, San Jose, Detroit and Chicago to name but those likelier to make the playoffs, at blogging time. Boston has a tough challenger in the NY Rangers - but they are not afraid of them nor of Pittsburgh. New Jersey, Washington, Buffalo and likely first-round opponent Ottawa shouldn't be that difficult for Boston to take apart in five or six games. The Bruins' true toughest opponents in the playoffs last year (Tampa Bay and Montreal) are not even going to make it to the playoffs, this year! (That'll teach them to try soooooo hard to stand in the way of the Champions!) And as for Philadelphia - their Flyers were defeated by Boston last year and the Bruins can do it again, if ever they meet the representatives from the so-called city of brotherly love on their path once more. Vancouver, defeating Chicago once again? Not a chance. But enough about all that...!)

This video that we were talking about - it's here (well, for now it is, at any rate!) and it is but an uncategorizable tasteless bit of vitriol against the Boston Bruins organization - as if this team, the championship team in defence of its title right now, was guilty of all the sins of the league...! Jon Stewart leads the charge here with a barrage of charges made with so-called ''evidence'' - all taken out of context. Great job, Jon!

The video was titled ''The Ironing Is Delicious'' to make use of the form of humor called malapropism which is nothing more, nothing less than the artform of misusing similar sounding words or outright replacing the proper word with a homophone, usually with hilarious results indeed. An example given by the guy who did this was attributed to the one and only (but no Bruin) Yogi Berra and his infamous statement about Texas: "Texas has a lot of electrical votes," he reputedly said, rather than saying "electoral votes". "The Ironing Is Delicious" is actually ripped off from The Simpsons though (how dishearteningly disappointing to see our opponents stoop so low) and therefore cannot be given much praise whatsoever. The video's uploader, the machiavelian MAKAVELI719696, really should have gone for something more original, with a double does of malapropism then, if he likes it so much...? Something like what I just did here, perhaps...? I've got a better one: how about ''The Ironing Is Delirious'' eh? That would have been GRAND. Too bad, MAKAVELI719696 - too bad that you're not me. But you're a Jon Stewart fan - quite obviously.

Let's have a look at this video, then - and we'll come right back after that, with Jon and friends...



So, Jon, you found contentment with taking things from left and right, plastering them all together into a nice montage that supposedly ''proves'' the Bruins' double-face policy (and that is simply not true: for, coach Julien said certain things and they were true when he said them. It was only afterwards that his players, fueled by a sense of retribution and justice, started those ''bite my finger'' shenanigans in the Stanley Cup Finals. As for GM Chiarelli's statement that ''our players are generally clean'' - that is true. The two incidents displayed after that are absolutely not evidence of the contrary: as Chara's much-maligned hit on Pacioretty was a routine play gone wrong due to the presence of a certain stanchion. The hit on Miller by Lucic came afterwards - much later on, in fact - and a goalie who knows not his place shouldn't complain after being touched. Do you even know of these aspects of the story, Jon? Perhaps your team does not research as thoroughly whenever the topic is not as much ''hard news'' material as political or economical stories, because you usually are as factual as CNN and Fox News, right, Jon? Just not on sports. But let's get back to that montage right now...
For then there is this ''un-self-awareness'' thing that you talk about, Jon, in an effort to be volubile - takes one to know one, Jon? Fact is, Brad Marchand plays smart, that is all there is to that - and, yes, it is smart to hurt instead of being hurt. Don't play innocent because any other field is as ruthless and cut-throat as hockey can be, and you know it, Jon! Coach Julien's comment was neither ''stupid'' as the sore loser Vigneault so distastefully labeled it, nor was it, again, untrue at all. Coach Julien was talking about hits in general, not so specifically the Salo hit or attempt to mash Marchand up against the boards that went horribly wrong for himself. And about Dan Carcillo being bitten - if he was, he, unlike Patrice Bergeron, totally deserves it! I don't expect you to know these details, Jon - nobody really does, because you're just a whimsical guy, not to be taken seriously.)

The most infuriating moment though is when you edit out Shawn Thornton's retort and replace it with an expletive delivered by Mike Tyson himself. For your information, Thornton is ten times more articulate than Tyson - and he could match wits with you, Jon, despite all the blows to the head that he has taken over the years. (By the way... When's the last time that you were boinked on the head, Jon? Back in kindergarten? Or just last week, when she found you watching porn? No need to answer that - ever.)

Shawn Thornton just took a split second to clear his throat and make sure that he really was on the air (don't Comedy Central give you any heads up on it, too, Jon? You are simply far more used to it than Shawn - but you would be just like a deer caught up in the headlights on the ice, if was open season on your skinny frame: you would never see that coming, would you, Jon? No - you wouldn't. Not even if you had one, two or ten full seconds to react! But that is purely theoretical now...)

Well, anyways, here is what Shawn Thornton really sounds like when he actually starts talking after that nano-second of a pause, Jon:



Like, you never had to collect your thoughts before speaking, Jon? It never happened to you? Maybe that would explain the crazy things uttered over the years, both by you and Colbert there, but that is another story, really - so let's not get into that foolishness here and now!

If anybody is to blast Thornton, it should be me - me or Don Cherry! Leave it to the experts and to each their field of expertise, okay? And to illustrate this so well, here is a video of one of the true hockey experts blasting Thornton, at first, as he analyses the proceedings as the Boston Bruins are about to even the series at three games apiece:



Don ''Grapes'' Cherry gave you a lesson of fairplay there, Jon! One you would do well to take into much consideration now... For, when you are part of mainstream media (even if it be cable clods land) you always have to give equal chances to both sides of the story - capisce, Jon? Cherry did just that - so much so that this video was posted by a Vancouver fan, actually! And labeled as something lambasting ''Thornton's douchery'' - not that Cherry calls it that, but he does address something Shawn Thornton did during the warm-up skate before the game. It was something many have done before though, over the decades, which is somewhat criticized by Cherry as something not to do. Later on, he condemns a dirty hit from behind by a Vancouver player on an icing call. No bias.

Got that lesson, Jon?

To finish in style, though, let's go back to the question of expertise for a second: for I wonder what is, exactly, your expertise, Jon? Is it politics? Not quite. Is it comedy? Well, just because you host something on Comedy Central since whenever it was, does not truly make a comedian out of you, by any definition of the word found in either Old English or current American slang. You would be a sports expert, Jon? You? Not possible.

Oh, and about the distasteful comments and classless statements - maybe that is your field of expertise indeed then? It certainly is your forté, apparently for you said it so yourself and I quote:
''I said it before and I'll say it again - go f*** yourselves''
Really, Jon? A TV host should say such things? I say no - a TV host shouldn't say such things, ever. Nor should he show montages that purposefully edit out the counterpoints in order to make fools out of people that you simply do not like.
What happened, Jon? Sports is not worth the same fair play treatment politics get or your TV pundit buddies get, even when it's obnoxious loudmouths such as Bill O'Reilly (he's no Terry) or Rush Limbaugh?

You can go f*** yourself, Jon!
(And, no, I am not contradicting myself here - acting all righteous and then stooping down to their level? No. This is totally within what I have defined to be normal behaviour for a luminous pundit blogger such as moi! Dishing out what they have had coming their way for a long, long time - in some cases.
Well... Case closed.)